FedEx Follies

So I get on the phone and call up the friendly customer service of FedEx.  Apparently, the driver couldn't find my place (how the hell that works considering he put a sticker literally 2ft from my door I'll never know) so he kept it on the truck.  Supposedly getting delivered after 9am Thursday...  No real answer as to why tracking shows it as delivered as opposed to, "on the truck." Customer service gal recommended I leave a note for the driver saying he should leave the package.  Seriously?  Where should I leave it?  On my door?  Building door?  On a big neon sign outside?

Or hey, here's an idea... Maybe he could try knocking on the door since I'll be here anyways?

Honestly, I wouldn't care if I hadn't been here this morning.

So I left a WTF email on their website.  Curious to see what comes of it.  Wouldn't have complained, but honestly, couldn't the guy have come in the front door and at least made the attempt?

About a half hour later I get an email reply (after a couple automated ones of dubious value).

Discussion Thread
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Response (MS.) - 09/07/2011 10:35 PM
Dear Mr. McGrrath:

Thank you for contacting FedEx. We regret any inconvenience you experienced as a result of this situation.

Our records indicate that this package was delivered on September 7, 2011, at 12:33 PM, and was left at the front door of XXX rain Forest Drive, Knoxville, TN, 37923. However, if you did not receive the package; please email us back with the following information:

- The complete address of the shipper
- Your telephone contact number 
- Package detail/package description (content and package cost) 
- Packaging used (box, pouch and/or package dimensions) 

Once we receive these shipment details, FedEx will send a message to the terminal and advise them of the situation.

Thank you for your patience, and thank you for contacting FedEx.


MS.
FedEx Customer Service

Auto-Response - 09/07/2011 10:25 PM
Thank you for your inquiry. 

Not to point out the obvious but, how would I know the warehouse location from Whence my package shipped, or for that matter the packaging used, or the package dimensions since I haven't seen the damn thing?

Sigh...

I kinda miss the days of the US Postal Service delivering stuff.  It was slower, but at least I knew it was gonna take forever.  Knowing when it's supposed to be here, and then not having it show up is more irritating than waiting another day.

I imagine updates will be forthcoming...

11:50pm (my reply to the previous message is included) -

Subject
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Re: Customer Support E-mail Form [Incident: 110907-001777]


Discussion Thread
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Response (Ma. Jerlyn V.) - 09/07/2011 11:47 PM
Dear Mr. McGrrath:

We received your inquiry. We regret any inconvenience caused by this situation. 

FedEx is tracing your shipment and will phone you as more information becomes available. If you need immediate assistance, please call our Customer Service department at 1.800.Go.FedEx® 800.463.3339. 

Your reference number for this request is: 0907659552

Thank you for your patience in this matter, and for shipping with FedEx. 

Ma. Jerlyn V.
FedEx Customer Service

Customer (Robert . McGrath) - 09/07/2011 11:10 PM
Incident created due to reply to expired incident 110907-001777.

Not to nitpick, but logically speaking how would I know what the box it 
was shipped in looked like since I haven't seen it (ie - this is a 
complaint about a package that has NOT been delivered). 
Shipper: Northern Brewer, 1150 Grand Avenue St. Paul, MN 55105 is the 
address of their retail store. I imagine they ship out of a warehouse 
though, the address of which I have no access to (unless I had the 
package, then maybe, but...). 
My phone: 865-585-9776 
Contents: 1 Blichmann Brewmometer (brewing thermometer), 1 American 
Homebrewing Association Renewal - total cost, about $74. 
Packaging used: No clue since I haven't seen it - wild guess would be a 
brown recyclable cardboard box, dimensions measuring: I dunno x No Clue 
x Your Guess is as Good as Mine (probably better). 

Translation: We have no clue where your package is.